Sometimes Our Job Is Talking Someone Out of Buying

When I was fairly new in real estate, I earned a bit of a reputation with some of the veteran agents around me. I was the rookie who had a penchant for talking his clients out of buying a house.

A few of them would give me a hard time about it. “What are you doing, dude? Get the sale!” I understood what they meant, of course. I just never really saw the job that way.

The longer I work with a buyer, the closer I get to know just what they’re looking for – and, more importantly, why they are looking for it. Three bedrooms might signify room for another child that is still a ‘maybe.’ A finished basement could provide the extra breathing room that’s become important as their kids get older and need space. And the big backyard is breathtaking – but comes with a lot of time, effort, and expense to maintain. 

All of these details change how you look at a house – or at least they should. Helping buyers think it all through is where I come in. 

An Emotional Process 

Buying a home is also inherently emotional. Unless it's purely an investment property, there's usually something bigger attached to the decision. Maybe you're making room for a growing family, getting into a neighbourhood where you want to raise your kids, or downsizing into something that makes the next stage of life easier. Whatever it is you’re buying, you’re doing so because it’s going to support you now – and down the road. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I lead with my heart. I don’t think my job is to remove the emotion – but I am responsible for preventing the emotions from doing all the driving. At the end of the day, this is a big decision and it is a financial investment – not a feel-good purchase. 

How It Unfolds 

There have been plenty of times when I've walked through a property with clients and thought, “this isn’t the one” – even before they say anything. It’s not necessarily because there was anything particularly wrong with the home – in fact, it might technically check all the boxes. However, when you really understand what someone's life looks like – and what they're hoping it will look like down the road – you start to notice the ways that a house can work against them.

And that is where a good buyer's agent earns their keep. My job isn't to help buyers find reasons to buy a property. It's to help them see a property clearly enough to decide whether it actually serves the life they’re trying to build.

I've been doing this long enough now that I don't worry much about talking someone out of the wrong house. Sometimes helping someone move forward means holding them back from focusing on a house that won’t take them where they want to go.